129. Lonely Planet
After over a year of being single (awful dates, misinterpreted feelings and drunken kisses aside) I realised that thanks to evenings with pleasant platonic male company maybe there was no need for a proper boyfriend after all. Lunch time wanders for "our" regular, after work drinks putting the world to rights, tickets for two at the flicks, weekend ambles through London where we share an ice cream before heading back to mine for a cider and a night snuggled up infront of the television.
Forget settling for just one boyfriend, I have a hand full.
Self appointed one of the boys, of course I adore my girl friends but fare better with the retracted claws, the simplicity and the social banter of guys. And their Playstations, don't forget their Playstations. Still, after another lovely evening they invariably head home to lives and dates of their own and I find myself wondering if settling for just one boyfriend wouldn't be so bad after all.
I used to be dependant on another, better half. I ambled from relationship to bad relationship to something that was nearly a relationship. Now, independent, manicured on a weekly basis and with date envy of the third degree from those that can (and do) I think I might just be ready to be glossed up, pulled into a frock and thrown out there to find another mate. No pressure, no bunny in that great big boiling pot, it would be nice I think, that's all I mean.
I was on the tube home a couple of weeks ago, aware of a nice looking "Chris O'Dowd" a like standing next to me. When he jumped off two stops later I smiled at him. Real life, eyeball to eyeball, square in the face smiled. I was literally cacking myself. He smiled back, nearly went to say something then we were gone. Maybe it was some in built need for male flirtation that made me do it, maybe it was the iPod on shuffle through Bon Jovi's greatest hits sparking my mood. I've smiled at two guys since then.
Who knows, it might work.
They say we find that special someone when we least expect it, I haven't been expecting it more like well and truly avoiding it. I refuse to chase after boys, men, love. I know that a lady needs to keep her standards as high as her heels but perhaps I've been placing mine just a little too far out of reach - I've talked about dates, looking for dates, online dates and blind dates while only actually doing it for real in fits and starts.
I refuse to chase after boys, men, love but then a little gentle running never hurt anyone I suppose.